Dealing with Shameful, Guilty, “Unworthiness” and “Not Enough” Feelings

Learning to live with your homosexuality, bisexuality or any other “supposed” defective body parts, behaviors, acts, beliefs, or opinions, etc.

It is unbelievable how we as human beings hold onto so many shameful and guilty energetic feelings inside of us around having supposed “flaws”, “defects”, “unworthiness”, “different than” beliefs of who we think we are that are imparted or conditioned into us by our parents, society, social “norms”, friends, school, tv, media, religion, etc for looking different, being different, acting different, thinking or feeling different compared to the supposed “normal” way that things are supposed to or ought to be according to the majority of people on this planet.

It really was so ridiculous how much shame and guilt I had held inside of me for all of these years because I thought I was “less than” or “different” or “a mistake” because of my interpretations, perceptions and beliefs swirling around in my head for decades having grown up with a physical deformity, so I looked much different than other people, so I avoided smiling and talking and being around people because I thought I was the ugliest and most worthless piece of crap on the planet, and going through neglect, trauma, and dysfunctional family environment only seemed to confirm and entrench my beliefs.

HOW MISTAKEN WAS I OF WHO I THOUGHT I REALLY WAS! WHAT A LIE AND ILLUSION AND NIGHTMARE I HAD CONCOCTED IN ORDER TO FINALLY REALIZE WHAT I WAS NOT, IN ORDER TO REALIZE WHAT I WAS–AWARENESS OR ONENESS. WHAT A SPIRITUAL LESSON THE UNIVERSE HAD BESTOWED UPON ME, OR HAD I SIGNED UP TO LEARN? WHO KNOWS AND WHO CARES AS LONG AS THE LESSON IS LEARNED, RIGHT!

God lives in all of us and everything around us, the world is diverse in order for us to experience the ego and people’s assumptions and beliefs and to eventually realize that it is all bullshit, that we are conditioned humans, and there is no good/bad, right/wrong looks, actions, behavior. The only TRUTH  is our awareness and consciousness that is aware of everything that never changes, everything else is always constantly in state of flux. IF WE CARRY GUILT AND SHAME AROUND SOME ISSUE THAT WE FEEL DIFFERENT THAN OTHER PEOPLE OR WE ARE DEFECTIVE OR WORTHLESS, WE NEED TO LOOK AT THOSE BELIEFS AND SEE IF THERE IS ANY TRUTH TO THEM, OR WAS IT MISTAKEN PERCEPTIONS AND BELIEFS POUNDED INTO OUR HEADS?

What is your greatest fear or belief around  friends, family or society openly knowing that you are bisexual or homosexual or have some past abhorrent behavior or act or physical body difference? That you will get beat up or hurt or they will criticize you or abandon you? What are your beliefs around your or someone else’s “supposed” differences that you still hold onto from bible, parents, society that no longer serve you?

How to deal with these feelings? First realize the illusion that your mind has created that you are unacceptable or different or separate from everything and everyone  Magic tricks have nothing on the illusion of separation we have created with our conditioned minds. Discuss or talk with trusted friends about issues or things that you are still holding onto in order to process and let the negative energy dissolve. You might even want to go to a cathartic workshop and divulge your deepest, darkest secrets with a bunch of strangers that you thought made you so different and unacceptable. And the thought that if people only knew your SECRET that they would disown, judge, abandon or admonish you. Maybe, that is just a false belief also. And even if they did, then that is their own egoic crap that they need to work on, but has nothing to do with you or your worth as we are EQUAL. They are just caught up in their own illusion of REALITY that they will eventually wake up from when the time is right for them.

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One Response to Dealing with Shameful, Guilty, “Unworthiness” and “Not Enough” Feelings

  1. What a courageous and beautiful post! I, too, played “not good enough” for many years. The truth is, not only are we acceptable, we are enjoyed and treasured im the Beloved and by all who are awake enough to truly see.

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